Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I might not post more of this and i need feedback

1

He didn’t used to be so angry, he didn’t used to be so sad. His eyes held a constant irritation that wasn’t there before. His overall expression was pained, and his dark hair over his face just hid the fact he was dying inside.
His mom knocked on his door. “Seth?” she asked.
She heard him exhale loudly and roll over on his bed. He groaned, irritated.
She breathed slowly. Get it over with. If he snaps, that’s his problem. “May I come in?” she asked hesitantly.
He didn’t answer.
She didn’t press further. But as she turned to go, the door almost silently cracked open.
She turned to face her son. Her face softened as she saw his face for the first time in over a day. It was that he knew, he knew so much. The door shut.
That was all.

7 comments:

Emmie said...

OOoooo!! I like it! Can I make a suggestion?

~Emmie

Karen said...

go ahead

Steph said...

AAARRG.

note to self: never blog right after mom uses g-mail.

Emmie said...

LOL!

My suggestion is that you describe more. Make it more so that whoever is reading it is pratically in the scene.

I still loved it!

~Emmie

Steph said...

Thanks!

ruby said...

nice. what happened to that one story i like. it was doing really good.

miss you

see ya friday.

Steph said...

It...disinagrated?

*i'm mellllltiiiinnng!!!*